Thursday, October 20, 2011

Query #37: "The River" by Anonymous

This query is from an anonymous author for the novel The River. Thank you, Anonymous, for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!

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ORIGINAL QUERY

When Brad Lucas agrees to join his business partner, Dean, on a fly-fishing trip in the wilds of Northern California, the last thing he expects is to come face-to-face with Bigfoot.

While wading across the river, Brad sees a hulking shape emerge from the forest shadows. He retreats, loses his footing, and the current swallows him. Fighting for breath, he glimpses Dean snapping pictures and laughing. A thundering boom overwhelms the gorge. More gunshots follow. Brad clings to a boulder as Dean’s screams cut the white noise of the river and the wind.

It’s the summer of 1999, the height of the dot-com bubble, and Brad has just made a fortune selling the company he started with Dean in college. Over the years, their odd, antagonistic friendship, fraught with competition and scandal, has deteriorated. Before Brad embarks on a new life with millions in the bank, cocksure Dean lures him to a secluded fishing club to perpetrate an elaborate hoax.

Now a man in a Bigfoot costume lies dead at the river’s edge, Dean is face down in the gravel, and a tobacco-chewing methamphetamine addict who isn’t in on the joke has a rifle aimed at Brad. Not only must Brad save himself, he must determine if Dean is worth saving as well.

Structurally, the book starts in medias res, tells Brad’s story (whose mother is more interested in her German Shepherd than her son), then Dean’s (whose father plays a softball game instead of witnessing his son’s birth)—the tension mounting until the two meet. Ultimately though, this is Brad’s story. After seeking love and affirmation, and mostly finding frustration, he perseveres and stands up to the people who don’t always have his best interest at heart. THE RIVER comically and tragically captures an America rife with greed and deception at the close of the millennium. It has a similar sensibility to Norman Maclean’s A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT and shares the man versus man, man versus nature themes of James Dickey’s DELIVERANCE.

THE RIVER is literary fiction, complete at approximately 82,000 words.

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GOBLIN-EDIT

Brad Lucas just made a fortune selling the company he and business partner Dean started in college. Their odd, antagonistic friendship has deteriorated, but Brad agrees to one last fly-fishing trip before they go separate ways. The last thing he expects, however, is to come face-to-face with Bigfoot.

Wading across a river, Brad sees a hulking shape emerge from the forest. He loses his footing, and the current swallows him. Fighting for breath, he glimpses Dean snapping pictures and laughing. Then a thundering boom overwhelms the gorge. More gunshots follow. As Brad clings to a boulder, Dean’s screams cut the white noise of the river.

Now a man in a Bigfoot costume lies dead at the river’s edge, Dean is face-down in the gravel, and a methamphetamine addict who wasn’t in on the joke is aiming his rifle at Brad. Not only must Brad save himself, he has to decide whether Dean is worth saving too.

THE RIVER captures an America rife with greed and deception at the close of the millennium. It has a similar sensibility to Norman Maclean’s A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT and shares the man-versus-man, man-versus-nature themes of James Dickey’s DELIVERANCE.

THE RIVER is literary fiction, complete at approximately 82,000 words.


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