This query is from an anonymous author for a YA novel. Thank you, Anonymous, for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!
One humid October morning in 1998 in El Salvador, after hurricane Mitch has devastated the family farm, nine year-old Carlos is persuaded by his forceful older sister to trek two thousand miles to the United States in search of his parents. Carlos knows his parents, gone ahead, forbid it. He knows his sister isn’t always kind to him. But desperate to impress, he follows her right up to the moment, just a few miles into their journey along a ravaged, lonely road, when she abandons him.
This is the story of a family pushed to extremes. It’s about injustice, survival, and two children caught in a dangerous system. Carlos never thought his Papa’s advice had much to do with him. He thought his Papa’s avid interest in boxing mattered even less. But alone and guided only by an address scrawled on a scrap of paper, his Papa’s maxims and fascination with an up-and-coming young boxer, take on new meaning.
[Title] is a 38,000 word realistic YA (potential cross-over) novel.
In October of 1998, after Hurricane Mitch devastates his family farm in El Salvador, nine-year-old Carlos' forceful older sister persuades him to trek two thousand miles to the United States. Carlos knows his parents, gone ahead, have forbidden this. He also knows his sister isn't always kind to him. What Carlos didn't know is she would abandon him on a ravaged, lonely road only a few miles into their journey.
Alone and guided only by an address scrawled on a scrap of paper, Carlos's memory of his papa's advice--which Carlos never thought had much to do with him--takes on a new meaning. Papa's maxims, as well as his fascination with an up-and-coming young boxer, give Carlos the heart and tenacity he needs to survive.
[Title] is a 38,000 word realistic YA novel with crossover potential.
Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!
Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!