This query is from Xetheriel for the novel The Time Weaver. Thank you Xetheriel for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!
~~~~~~~
ORIGINAL QUERY
As a child, Seth sat enthralled through his fathers vivid stories of sword and sorcery. When his father vanished, it prompted five-year-old Seth to put the stories behind him and live for reality. Now he has a house, a car, a good job and a date for his thirtieth birthday. But all of that changes when a dormant gene awakens within Seth and stops the flow of time.
In an alternate universe, the kingdom of Findoor sits on the brink of war with a dark and powerful warlord determined to exact revenge on the land that banished him. Tensions build between the two factions, with skirmishes breaking out along the Findoor borders. Wizards on both sides discover a force that will spell a swift end to the war for the side that obtains it. That force is Seth.
Seth struggles to control his new-found powers while being led through a world of magic and creatures unlike anything he has ever known. Eventually Seth learns that there is more to the escalating war than just black versus white. Something darker and more ancient stirs, an evil that spans generations, and threatens to consume the fabric of space and time. Seth must overcome his own doubt and disbelief to defeat this evil, or watch both worlds get annihilated.
THE TIME WEAVER, an 80,000-word fantasy, leaves an unlikely hero in a world that is not his own, with an ability he never wanted, and fighting a war he didn't start.
~~~~~~~
GOBLIN-EDIT
When his father vanished, five-year-old Seth put the man's vivid stories of swords and sorcery behind him. Now Seth has a house, a car, a good job and a date for his thirtieth birthday. But all of that changes when a dormant gene awakens within Seth and stops the flow of time.
In an alternate universe, wizards on both sides of a war have discovered a force that will spell an easy victory for the faction that obtains it. That force is Seth, and all they need is to steal him away like they did his father.
But holding onto a Time Weaver is not easy, and Seth escapes with his new-found powers. Finding himself in a world of magic and creatures unlike anything he has seen, Seth's struggle to stay free and control his abilities becomes critical when he learns the escalating war involves more than just warlords and vengeance.
Something dark and ancient is stirring, an evil that spans generations and threatens to consume the fabric of space and time. Seth must overcome his own insecurities and skepticism to defeat this creature, or he'll watch it annihilate both worlds.
THE TIME WEAVER, an 80,000-word fantasy, leaves an unlikely hero in a world that is not his own, with an ability he never wanted, and fighting a war he didn't start.
Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!
