This query is from Mary-J-59 for the novel A Drive of Dragons. Thank you, Mary-J-59, for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!
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ORIGINAL QUERY
At nearly fourteen, Verity is old enough to know that being a princess isn’t all honey and roses and beautiful horses. Princesses and princes must protect their people, too. When fire-breathing dragons invaded the kingdom of Patria generations earlier, only the princess could make them vanish. But no one knows exactly how, for that legendary princess vanished along with the dragons.
Now huge, fire-breathing lizards have invaded once more, and Verity knows she confront them. After she escapes from the palace and finds her way to the mountains, she meets young prince Frank of Halland, a country she’s never heard of which is also beset by dragons. The two teens come across a little dragon who tells them why the dragons are devouring people’s crops. A powerful, greedy dragon called Blackstone is hoarding all their food, and they’re starving. Verity hopes most sincerely that Blackstone doesn’t enjoy munching on maidens of royal blood, but she’s got to face him even if he wants to eat her. If she can’t persuade Blackstone to change his ways, the other dragons and the people of Patria and Halland will all suffer. It’s up to her to rescue everyone from the wicked Blackstone. But, as far as she knows, her only weapons are her sharp mind, her sense of duty, and a pair of embroidery scissors. And – that other princess never came back.
A Drive of Dragons is middle-grade fiction, complete at 35,000 words. Verity and Frank are the viewpoint characters. This story should appeal to readers who like classic tales such as The Reluctant Dragon and Farmer Giles of Ham. I hope readers of Cressida Cowell’s wonderful series will enjoy A Drive of Dragons, too. I look forward to hearing from you.
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GOBLIN-EDIT
At nearly fourteen, Verity knows being a princess isn’t all roses and beautiful horses. Princesses must protect their people, too. Generations ago, fire-breathing dragons invaded Verity's kingdom, and a legendary princess made them vanish. But no one knows how, for the princess vanished along with the dragons. Now Verity must figure out what that princess did, because the dragons are back.
Verity escapes from her lizard-besieged palace and finds her way to the mountains, where she meets young prince Frank. His country is also beset by dragons, and the two teens meet a little dragon who tells them why the dragons are devouring people’s crops. A greedy dragon called Blackstone is hoarding all their food, and they’re starving.
Verity hopes Blackstone doesn’t enjoy munching on royal maidens, but she’s got to face him even if he does. It’s up to her to rescue everyone, and her only weapons are her sharp mind, her sense of duty, and a pair of embroidery scissors. But working against Verity are her fears--because that other princess never came back!
A Drive of Dragons is middle-grade fiction, complete at 35,000 words. This story will appeal to readers who enjoy classic tales like The Reluctant Dragon and Farmer Giles of Ham, and to readers of Cressida Cowell’s wonderful How to Train Your Dragon series. I look forward to hearing from you.
Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!
Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!
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ORIGINAL QUERY
At nearly fourteen, Verity is old enough to know that being a princess isn’t all honey and roses and beautiful horses. Princesses and princes must protect their people, too. When fire-breathing dragons invaded the kingdom of Patria generations earlier, only the princess could make them vanish. But no one knows exactly how, for that legendary princess vanished along with the dragons.
Now huge, fire-breathing lizards have invaded once more, and Verity knows she confront them. After she escapes from the palace and finds her way to the mountains, she meets young prince Frank of Halland, a country she’s never heard of which is also beset by dragons. The two teens come across a little dragon who tells them why the dragons are devouring people’s crops. A powerful, greedy dragon called Blackstone is hoarding all their food, and they’re starving. Verity hopes most sincerely that Blackstone doesn’t enjoy munching on maidens of royal blood, but she’s got to face him even if he wants to eat her. If she can’t persuade Blackstone to change his ways, the other dragons and the people of Patria and Halland will all suffer. It’s up to her to rescue everyone from the wicked Blackstone. But, as far as she knows, her only weapons are her sharp mind, her sense of duty, and a pair of embroidery scissors. And – that other princess never came back.
A Drive of Dragons is middle-grade fiction, complete at 35,000 words. Verity and Frank are the viewpoint characters. This story should appeal to readers who like classic tales such as The Reluctant Dragon and Farmer Giles of Ham. I hope readers of Cressida Cowell’s wonderful series will enjoy A Drive of Dragons, too. I look forward to hearing from you.
~~~~~~~
GOBLIN-EDIT
At nearly fourteen, Verity knows being a princess isn’t all roses and beautiful horses. Princesses must protect their people, too. Generations ago, fire-breathing dragons invaded Verity's kingdom, and a legendary princess made them vanish. But no one knows how, for the princess vanished along with the dragons. Now Verity must figure out what that princess did, because the dragons are back.
Verity escapes from her lizard-besieged palace and finds her way to the mountains, where she meets young prince Frank. His country is also beset by dragons, and the two teens meet a little dragon who tells them why the dragons are devouring people’s crops. A greedy dragon called Blackstone is hoarding all their food, and they’re starving.
Verity hopes Blackstone doesn’t enjoy munching on royal maidens, but she’s got to face him even if he does. It’s up to her to rescue everyone, and her only weapons are her sharp mind, her sense of duty, and a pair of embroidery scissors. But working against Verity are her fears--because that other princess never came back!
A Drive of Dragons is middle-grade fiction, complete at 35,000 words. This story will appeal to readers who enjoy classic tales like The Reluctant Dragon and Farmer Giles of Ham, and to readers of Cressida Cowell’s wonderful How to Train Your Dragon series. I look forward to hearing from you.
Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!
Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!
