Sara Fabray has re-worked the query for the novel Thrice Born and requested another nibbling from the Goblin. Thank you Sara for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!
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ORIGINAL QUERY
Andra has despised sorcerers since they executed her mother for witchcraft. Twelve years later, the war between witches and sorcerers has ended, but Andra's convinced the peace won't last. Not as long as sorcerers pay the price required by magic with the blood of innocents. Like her mother, Andra plans to become a witch, even though it means sacrificing a piece of her spirit and risking insanity with every spell.
Now an unknown enemy targets her brother, and snares him in a spell that drains his life-force. Andra isn't a witch yet, and her runes are nothing more than squiggles in the air. Desperate, she turns to her friends, including ex-best-friend Declan. Together, they manage to trace the source of the spell to the sorceress Camilla, a cold-blooded hunter who has killed a hundred witches, and whom Declan knows by another name. Mom.
Camilla plans to use the stolen life-force in a spell to assassinate the Magister, framing Andra's father in the process. Andra doesn't care about the Magister or the Council's politics, but there's nothing she won't do to save her family. Even when it turns out the only way to destroy the spell is to become what she despises the most-- a sorceress.
THRICE BORN is a 60,000 word YA urban fantasy. Thank you for your time and consideration.
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GOBLIN-EDIT
Caveat: Basically? This was awesome and I've changed almost nothing. Excellent work, Sara!
Andra has despised sorcerers since they executed her mother for witchcraft. Twelve years later, the war between witches and sorcerers has ended, but Andra's convinced the peace won't last--not while sorcerers pay the price required by magic with the blood of innocents. Like her mother, Andra plans to become a witch, even though it means sacrificing a piece of her spirit and risking insanity with every spell.
Now an unknown enemy has targeted her brother and ensnared him in a spell that drains his life-force. Andra isn't a witch yet, and her runes are nothing more than squiggles in the air. Desperate, she turns to her friends, including her ex-best-friend Declan. Together, they trace the spell to the sorceress Camilla, a cold-blooded hunter who has killed a hundred witches and whom Declan knows by another name: Mom.
Camilla plans to use the stolen life-force to assassinate the Magister, then frame Andra's father. Andra doesn't care about the Magister or Council politics, but there's nothing she won't do to save her family, even when it turns out the only way to destroy the spell is to become what she despises the most--a sorceress.
THRICE BORN is a 60,000 word YA urban fantasy. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!
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