Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Query #34: "The Light of Emet" by Freya Morris

This query is from Freya Morris for the novel The Light of Emet. Thank you, Freya Morris, for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!

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ORIGINAL QUERY

Eleven-year-old Rose wakes up in hospital to be told she’s had a seizure, again. Yet, that doesn’t explain why she can now see pain, growth, love and hatred, all in the flesh. Beasts and creatures are walking amongst us.

Rose has been given the light of Emet, the sight of truth, but her best friend Pete has been cursed by Molech - hatred in its purest form. He tricked Pete by using a new scientific religion called Seudology to possess his soul. Even followers of the new religion look like the un-dead, as Rose sees them for the soulless slaves they’ve become.

Rose and Pete are in the middle of an age-old war. Love itself, Adonai, is fighting Molech for the souls of people on earth. With their fates set apart, Rose is determined to save Pete’s soul. She agrees to infiltrate the new religion but being able to see monsters doesn’t stop her from walking into a trap. Seudologists have been watching her since the beginning, and she might just lose her soul and Pete’s, forever.

THE LIGHT OF EMET is a 47,000-word children’s fantasy novel for 12-14 year olds.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

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GOBLIN-EDIT

Eleven-year-old Rose wakes in the hospital to be told she’s had another seizure, but that doesn’t explain why she now sees pain, growth, love and hatred in physical form. Beasts and creatures are walking amongst us.

Rose has been given the light of Emet, or 'the sight of truth'. Unfortunately, one thing she sees immediately is that her best friend Pete has been cursed by Molech--hatred in its purest form. Molech tricked Pete using a new religion called Seudology to steal his soul. To Rose, the followers of Seudology look undead because she sees them as the slaves they’ve become.

Love itself, Adonai, is fighting Molech for the souls of Earth's people. Rose is determined to save Pete, and when Adonai asks her to infiltrate the new religion, she agrees. However, being able to see monsters doesn’t stop her from walking into a trap. The Seudologists have been waiting for Rose, and now she might lose both her and Pete's souls forever.

THE LIGHT OF EMET is a 47,000 word upper middle grade fantasy. Thank you for your time and consideration; I look forward to hearing from you.


Goblin Caveat: Some elements that may not be accurate for the novel have been added to this edited version of the query.

Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!

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