This query is from Taylor for the novel The Family Grim. Thank you Taylor for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!
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ORIGINAL QUERY
Two hundred years ago Death's most feared servant, the infamous Grim Reaper, sacrificed his immortality for the woman he loved, entrusting his eternal duty to his future descendants: the Family Grim. Three generations later, Jude Grim struggles to balance these deathly duties with his life as a high school student buried beneath the shadow of his twin brother Drew, the local golden boy.
The twins first learned of their unusual bloodline four years ago. Drew took it as a sign of his greatness. Jude took it as a curse. And now, thanks to Drew's insatiable temper and Jude's compassionate soul, the onetime best friends are bitter enemies. Adding to the rivalry is Haven Snow, Drew's current girlfriend and Jude's childhood sweetheart. One night Drew's temper gets the best of him, and in a fit of rage he uses his powers to kill a classmate, hiding the body in a nearby river. When Haven discovers Drew's secret, she becomes his next victim.
Determined to save her, a heart-broken Jude pursues Death's forbidden remedy: seeds from the legendary Tree of Life. The seeds hold the power to reverse a reaper's kill, but must be used quickly. With Drew hot on his trail and Death watching their every move, Jude has twenty four hours to find the tree and bring Haven back before she's lost forever.
THE FAMILY GRIM, a young adult fantasy novel, is complete at 72,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
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GOBLIN-EDIT
Two hundred years ago, the Grim Reaper sacrificed his immortality for the woman he loved and entrusted his eternal duty to his descendants. Three generations later, Jude Grim is struggling to balance high school with what he considers the family curse.
As if juggling homework with harvesting souls weren't bad enough, the only girl Jude has ever loved is Haven Snow, and guess who's she's dating? His popular twin Drew, who considers the Reaper bloodline proof of own greatness and justification for his increasingly vicious temper.
Jude's love for his brother is dying, but he doesn't realize he'll soon have to strangle it entirely. When an argument provokes Drew into a fit of rage, he uses his powers to murder a classmate, then hides the body in a river. When Haven discovers Drew's secret, he kills her too.
Now Jude has twenty-four hours to find a remedy for a Reaper's touch or it will be too late to bring Haven back from the dead. It's heart-breaking enough his own twin is hot on his trail and willing to kill him, but Jude soon learns he has an even more dangerous family member hunting him. The shade of the original Grim Reaper also wants dying to remain a one-way street--and he too is willing to hurry Jude's demise to ensure that.
THE FAMILY GRIM, a young adult fantasy, is complete at 72,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Goblin Caveat: Some elements that may not be accurate for the novel have been added to this edited version of the query.
Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!
