Introducing "Goblin's Humiliator"

Hey guys! Here's something I've been working on that is finally ready to roll out:


Goblin's Humiliator
The Humiliator is a motivation tool for writers. It's a bit of Javascript code that displays a small image on your blog or personal website, and this image--depending on how many days in a row you've skipped writing--becomes increasingly embarrassing.

The idea here is that once you've put the Humiliator on your website, your fear of public embarrassment will goad you into writing every day consistently. And who can't use a little extra incentive?

Please click the link to go to the home page of The Humiliator, and consider signing up. It's completely free and kinda fun!


Click here to get Goblin's Humiliator
for your website or blog!

Query #21: "Left of Unsaid" by Perri

This query is from Perri for the novel Left of Unsaid. Thank you Perri for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!

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ORIGINAL QUERY

As far as the Orange Lake Sheriff’s concerned Hap Taskett’s death is an open and shut case: heart attack. But for Hap’s daughters, there’s nothing simple about it. Wild Claudette, the eldest, was with him when he died. Though she won’t share details about the incident, she insists she killed him. Eighteen year old Leanne fears the answers her questions might bring. Once inseparable, the sisters can’t hold a civil conversation.

With their father’s last project, a decrepit motel, crumbling around them in the slick North Florida heat, they make separate plans for escape. Claudette hooks up with a petty criminal in a truck stop and sleeps her way to “somewhere cold.” Leanne plans for college, marriage and all the trappings of a normal life, but she has a secret of her own: she is pregnant and freefalling out of love with her good-hearted fiancé.

When Citra Starke, as much a part of Orange Lake as the blue-tailed skinks, appears on her doorstep, Leanne is willing to take her in as a sort of surrogate sister. But Citra’s motives are not what they seem. When Leanne discovers the truth, she must make the sort of leap she’s never dreamed of, track her missing sister and piece together the details of her father’s life and death if she is to salvage what’s left of her tattered family.

Left of Unsaid is complete at 84,000 words. It is contemporary fiction, an edgier, Southern “Where the Heart Is.” It is told in alternating points of view.

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GOBLIN-EDIT

As far as the Orange Lake Sheriff is concerned, Hap Taskett’s death was a heart attack, but for Hap’s youngest daughter Leanne, it's not that simple. Her elder sister Claudette was with Hap when he died, and although she won’t share the details, Claudette insists she killed him. Leanne is afraid to dig deeper, and although once inseparable, the sisters now can’t hold a civil conversation.

With their father's decrepit motel crumbling around them in the slick North Florida heat, they make separate plans for escape. Claudette hooks up with a petty criminal in a truck stop and sleeps her way to “somewhere cold.” Leanne plans for college, marriage and all the trappings of a normal life despite her own secret: she is pregnant and freefalling out of love with her good-hearted fiancé.

When Citra Starke, an eccentric as much a part of Orange Lake as the blue-tailed skinks, appears on her doorstep, Leanne takes her in as a surrogate sister, but Citra’s motives are not what they seem. When Leanne discovers [something specific], she must face her terror of her family's tattered history and track her missing sister to piece together the details of their father’s life and death.

Left of Unsaid is contemporary fiction, an edgier, Southern Where the Heart Is, and complete at 84,000 words. Thank you for your time and attention; I hope to hear from you soon.


Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!

Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!

Query #20: "Daze and Knights" by Melanie Stanford

This query is from Melanie Stanford for the novel Daze and Knights. Thank you Melanie for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!

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ORIGINAL QUERY

Her name is Jessica Jacobs. She is sixteen years old. She is a super spy, an actress, and a princess.

Okay, not really, but she likes to daydream that she’s all of those things. So on the day she wakes up, a medieval knight digging his sword into her throat, it seems like just another daydream. Until she realizes that, 1- dude is actually causing her neck to bleed, 2- her dress is so hideous she never would have daydreamed herself into it, and 3- Zac Efron is nowhere in sight. Definitely NOT a daydream.

After pondering her sanity at length (while being hauled into a town called Hampshire), Jessica is left with only one option: ride out her time in crazy medieval land until she can figure out a way home. But riding it out means working for the Count’s slutty daughter and doing her best to avoid Lord Pervy with his icky come-ons and wandering hands. It sucks being the peon instead of the princess.

Then Lord Alric, aka: knight-in-freaking-hot-armor shows up. He teaches her how to swordfight and amidst her inner pleas for him to take his shirt off, she falls in love. How could she not? He even makes decapitating another human being look good. Going home isn’t all that important anymore.

But life in Hampshire just gets more dangerous by the day. With whispered revolts, mysterious traitors, a possible battle, and Lord Pervy going from creepy to downright freaky, will her new (but very cool) sword fighting skills be enough to keep her alive? Staying in Hampshire means leaving behind her family and friends forever. But going back to a life of daydreaming means leaving Lord Alric- and that will cost her heart.

DAZE AND KNIGHTS is an 89,000 word YA novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.

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GOBLIN-EDIT

Her name is Jessica Jacobs. She is sixteen years old, a super spy, an actress, and a princess. Okay, not really, but she likes to daydream she’s all of those things.

So on the day she wakes up with a medieval knight digging his sword into her throat, it seems like just another daydream until she realizes, 1- dude is actually causing her neck to bleed, 2- her dress is so hideous she never would have daydreamed herself into it, and 3- Zac Efron is nowhere in sight.

After pondering her sanity at length (while being hauled into a town called Hampshire), Jessica is left with only one option: ride out her time in crazy-medieval land until she can figure out a way home. However, riding it out means working for the Count’s slutty daughter and doing her best to avoid Lord Pervy with his wandering hands. It sucks being the peon instead of the princess.

Then Lord Alric, a.k.a. knight-in-freaking-hot-armor, shows up. He teaches her how to swordfight, and amid her inner pleas for him to take his shirt off, she falls in love. Going home isn’t all that important anymore.

But life is getting more dangerous by the day, with whispered revolts, mysterious traitors, a possible battle looming, and Lord Pervy going from creepy to downright freaky. Will her new (but very cool) sword fighting skills be enough to keep her alive? Staying in Hampshire means leaving behind her family and friends forever, but going back to a life of daydreaming means leaving Lord Alric--and that will cost her heart.

DAZE AND KNIGHTS is an 89,000 word YA novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!

Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!

More Comments Appreciated!

There's a new version of Newmancht's query for "The Anasazi Conspiracy" posted in the comment sections of the link below. I'm sure Newmancht would appreciate your continued input!

Query for "The Anasazi Conspiracy" by Newmancht

Query #12 Redux: "Thrice Born" by Sara Fabray

Sara Fabray has re-worked the query for the novel Thrice Born and requested another nibbling from the Goblin. Thank you Sara for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!

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ORIGINAL QUERY

Andra has despised sorcerers since they executed her mother for witchcraft. Twelve years later, the war between witches and sorcerers has ended, but Andra's convinced the peace won't last. Not as long as sorcerers pay the price required by magic with the blood of innocents. Like her mother, Andra plans to become a witch, even though it means sacrificing a piece of her spirit and risking insanity with every spell.

Now an unknown enemy targets her brother, and snares him in a spell that drains his life-force. Andra isn't a witch yet, and her runes are nothing more than squiggles in the air. Desperate, she turns to her friends, including ex-best-friend Declan. Together, they manage to trace the source of the spell to the sorceress Camilla, a cold-blooded hunter who has killed a hundred witches, and whom Declan knows by another name. Mom.

Camilla plans to use the stolen life-force in a spell to assassinate the Magister, framing Andra's father in the process. Andra doesn't care about the Magister or the Council's politics, but there's nothing she won't do to save her family. Even when it turns out the only way to destroy the spell is to become what she despises the most-- a sorceress.

THRICE BORN is a 60,000 word YA urban fantasy. Thank you for your time and consideration.

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GOBLIN-EDIT

Caveat: Basically? This was awesome and I've changed almost nothing. Excellent work, Sara!

Andra has despised sorcerers since they executed her mother for witchcraft. Twelve years later, the war between witches and sorcerers has ended, but Andra's convinced the peace won't last--not while sorcerers pay the price required by magic with the blood of innocents. Like her mother, Andra plans to become a witch, even though it means sacrificing a piece of her spirit and risking insanity with every spell.

Now an unknown enemy has targeted her brother and ensnared him in a spell that drains his life-force. Andra isn't a witch yet, and her runes are nothing more than squiggles in the air. Desperate, she turns to her friends, including her ex-best-friend Declan. Together, they trace the spell to the sorceress Camilla, a cold-blooded hunter who has killed a hundred witches and whom Declan knows by another name: Mom.

Camilla plans to use the stolen life-force to assassinate the Magister, then frame Andra's father. Andra doesn't care about the Magister or Council politics, but there's nothing she won't do to save her family, even when it turns out the only way to destroy the spell is to become what she despises the most--a sorceress.

THRICE BORN is a 60,000 word YA urban fantasy. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!

Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!

Query #19 Re-Worked!

authorAlannian has sent Goblin a very strong re-working of his/her query for Alannian and the Sword of Azallyan. It's available for viewing in the comment section of the original post, and I'm sure the author would appreciate more feedback! Please drop by and say what you think of the new version, and thank you all for your continued participation.

~Goblin

Query #19 Re-Worked in the Comments:
Alannian and the Sword of Azallyan

Query #19: "Alannian and the Sword of Azallyan" by authorAlannian

This query is from authorAlannian for the novel Alannian and the Sword of Azallyan. Thank you authorAlannian for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!

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ORIGINAL QUERY

Thirteen-year-old Alannian is just a prankster in his village. But when he discovers he is the next Incarnation, King Fayavor wants him dead.

For millennia, the Incarnations of the elf Elyyian have kept peace between the elves, humans and dwarves. King Fayavor believed the Incarnations held the humans back from achieving true greatness, so he used ghastly magic to kill the last Incarnation. Fifty years later, war rages throughout the land and Alannian start having dreams about the elf Elyyian.

Alannian discovers he is the Incarnation. Now the king wants him dead. He flees his village, but royal enforcers brutally kill his uncle. With closest person he had to a father dead, Alannian is more alone then he has ever been. Thankfully, an old magician hides the young boy and teaches him in the ways of the Incarnation.

With his growing powers, Alannian sets off to stop the war and the king before the races destroy each other. Servants of the king hunt Alannian and he must learn who he can trust. The lives of everyone Alannian loves are thrust into the lines of war as Fayavor pursues him. Should Alannian fail, then the war will continue and the three races will destroy each other.

ALANNIAN AND THE SWORD OF AZALLYAN is a 100,000-word young adult fantasy where the hope of a world rests on the shoulders of a boy, a prankster, a hero. My book will appeal to the fans Christopher Paolini's INHERITANCE CYCLE. I am working on two follow up novels.

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GOBLIN-EDIT

For millennia, the Incarnations of the elf Elyyian have kept peace between the elves, humans and dwarves. King Fayavor believed the Incarnations held the humans back from achieving true greatness, so he used ghastly magic to kill the last Incarnation. Fifty years later, war rages throughout the land, and Alannian--a thirteen-year-old prankster in a small village--has just started having dreams about the elf Elyyian.

[Something specific happens so that Alannian know he is the Incarnation.] [Something specific happens so that Fayavor learns Alannian is the Incarnation.] Alannian flees his village, but royal enforcers brutally kill his family, and Alannian is left grief-stricken and vulnerable. An old magician hides the boy and teaches him about the Incarnations, and Alannian realizes he must soon accept his destiny instead of running.

As the lives of everyone Alannian loves are drawn into the war, the boy sets off to stop King Fayavor. Alannian knows that if he fails, it will mean more than his own death--for without an Incarnation, the three races will destroy each other and leave the world in ruin.

ALANNIAN AND THE SWORD OF AZALLYAN is a 100,000-word young adult fantasy with series potential. My book will appeal to the fans Christopher Paolini's INHERITANCE CYCLE. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!

Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!