This query is from Newmancht for the novel The Anasazi Conspiracy. Thank you Newmancht for the honour of allowing me to work on and post this!
~~~~~~~
ORIGINAL QUERY
Jake’s plan never included rescuing a beautiful archeologist from the evil man he was hired to kill. He certainly didn’t expect to be double-crossed by his shadowy employer either. In a malevolent twist of fate, the lives of two disparate souls are united in a race against time to decipher the mystery of an ancient people and stop the enemy determined to kill them.
THE ANASAZI CONSPIRACY is a Historical Adventure, weaving a rich tapestry of the enigmatic Chama clan into the fabric of a contemporary mission to steal the discovery of a fantastic archeological find. In 1607 BC, brothers Maska and Ahote make a curious discovery inside a cave on their hunting trip, but the prize they bring home quickly propels their hidden society into chaos and leaves a baffling legacy behind.
Their legacy first comes to light after a horrific train crash in the open, wild country of 1867. When the train engineer survives, badly wounded and delirious, he stumbles across an ancient relic while desperately searching for help. But soon Stanley collapses from his injuries, the secret almost dying with him again. His destiny is sealed when rescued by a merciful Jemez tribe, eventually recovering yet unable to recall the location of this incredible find. His failed search for the lost cavern promising untold riches influences the fate of his descendants, compelling them to honor the clandestine promise he made long ago.
Flash forward to the present, when powerful corporate magnate, Robert Bradley, underestimates his hired gun and the success of a malicious business scheme, the players in this deadly game are plunged into a race against time and bullets. Jake’s endeavor to stop the ruthless adversary pursuing them reveals a brilliant ally in Dr. Courtney Kirkland as she deftly works to unravel the elusive Anasazi petroglyphs. To fail means the loss of a magnificent culture - and death.
But Jake and Courtney never anticipated the playful banter…the intense looks…or fiery passions escalating as they grapple with the coded symbols linking this diverse cast through thousands of years of mystery, deception and greed. Culminating in an explosive finale, they succeed in unearthing a chronicle that will change Anasazi history forever.
The Author is a happily married father of four monsters, ‘er, boys and a history buff. This is my first novel and is a complete work available for review. Thank you for your consideration.
~~~~~~~
GOBLIN-EDIT
In 1607 B.C., two brothers from the Chama clan of [modern area's name] discovered a [specific item] while on a hunting trip, and the chaos provoked by that find changed their society forever.
In 1867 A.D., a train engineer staggered from a horrific crash in search of help and instead found evidence of the clan's baffling legacy. When his injuries prevented him finding the site again, he passed the knowledge of its existence to his family.
Today, hired gun Jake [last name] is scrambling to protect Dr. Courtney Kirkland from his double-crossing ex-employer, who wants to pillage the fantastic archeological site Courtney is on the brink of locating.
More is at stake than the loss of a magnificent culture, however. Jake's ex-boss believes he can only get away with stealing the site's riches if everyone who knows about the place is dead. As Courtney struggles to unravel petroglyphs and unearth a chronicle that will change the world's understanding of Anasazi history, Jake must fight to keep thousands of years of mystery, deception and greed from ending in a double murder.
THE ANASAZI CONSPIRACY is a complete [word count, rounded to the nearest 1,000] word adventure novel steeped in one of my personal passions: history. Thank you for your consideration.
Goblin Caveat: Some elements that may not be accurate for the novel have been added to this edited version of the query.
Have any thoughts about either the original or the re-written query? Please join the discussion in the comment thread!
Also, I'd be delighted if you would please help draw more commenters to the site by mentioning this post to your online friends. Thank you!
